The forgotten mother

I have debated writing this post. Wondering if it was really worth it. Not wanting any attention but wanting people to know at the same time. Wanting to minister where and however I can.
Wanting people to know they are not alone.

Britt and I recently lost a baby. That sentence seems so abrupt. It was and has been by far one of the greatest if not the greatest losses of my life.
People say that you don’t understand the feeling until it happens to you. That is the true.

I debated sharing my story because I wondered if it matters. But I know that even though he/she never lived on this earth my baby’s life mattered. That sentence is far from what would be considered
“politically correct” but it’s true.

Thoughts of that precious life have been swimming in my head this past weekend and today.
As you all know yesterday was Mother’s Day and

I was a silent mother.

I was a hurting mother.

I was the mother most did not know about.

I was hesitant to share this but than I began to think of the other women out there who were not able to celebrate mothers day with a child that they lost. The pain I feel for those mothers is deep
within my soul. I hurt with them.

But more than anything I want to tell those mothers that they ARE mothers. Despite the greatest pain and confusion you can face God is good. I can say that because despite what my circumstances say I know what I know to be true and that is that God is always good. 

 I know that in my time of hurting I wanted to talk to someone who knew what I was feeling. If I don't share what happened I can't be that person to someone else.

Two people who knew about what happened told me happy mothers day and I thought that it would hurt too much to hear but when I read the words they sent me I felt so loved and I knew I was a mother.

And so for those mothers out there who lost a baby I want to say Happy Mothers Day to you.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13