I got a text from mom that said dad's temperature was at 102.2 and was pretty high all night long. Please pray for that to go down.
There is the place... the place of not loosing hope for his full recovery but also at the same time preparing myself that he may not fully recover. It is not like I think he is going to die, although it could happen, I just don't know if he will ever be himself again which is so hard to wrap my mind around. Don't get me wrong, I am not loosing faith that God could totally heal my dad but the longer he is "out" the more and more difficult it becomes. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control and I trust Him but I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around this situation and understand Him. This is by far the most difficult thing I have ever done.
When I think about mom and what she must be going through I cannot help but have tears fill my eyes. Then, if I start to put myself in her situation I loose it. My heart hurts so bad for her. I am praying with every fiber in my being that God would restore my dad to his original health and state of mind. I know that the Lord is enough for my mom, for me, for our family. I know that He will provide and meet all of our needs. But at the same time there is a reason that the Lord gave dad to all of us.
I told Britt I don't even know what would be better. Well, other then the obvious total recovery. But if dad wakes up with brain damage or if the Lord takes him home; I can't even begin to think about either one. I like to just think about recovery, but like I said it gets difficult. Not that hope is lost just that sometimes I feel like I am to the end.
This post was not supposed to be about all of this. I guess you can see what is on my mind though. I just want dad to wake up! He is starting to look so thin and weak. It is so weird to see my big, strong dad that way; helpless, in a hospital bed. I know that he is fighting. Sometimes I just want to go in his hospital room and yell at the top of my lungs, like it might wake him up or something. I know that sounds stupid but it is the way I feel.
Please continue to pray for our family. It has been a very long two weeks and this is going to be a VERY long journey. We need the Lords strength to sustain us because we are going to get very tired.
I have been reading in the Psalms lately and it is so encouraging to my Spirit. I am so grateful for that book of the bible right now.
In other news….
Like I said, life has to go on… And tonight Britt and I have a meeting and some decisions to make that are going to help in deciding what our future is going to look like. We are praying and seeking the Lord. I just want the Lord’s best and I want to make sure that we make the right decision. Prayers appreciated!
Britt and I have been staying at mom and dad’s house. It has been good for us to be there to help but I think that it is time to go home. We are ready. I think that tomorrow night we will pack up and head home. I cannot even begin to tell you how very ready I am to sleep in my own bed!!
Like I said earlier, please continue to pray for our family. Your prayers are so appreciated!
Hope you all have a good start (and finish!) to your week!