Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Every Couple is their own Couple.

If I was to give someone marriage advice, in my not so expert opinion, I would tell them:

“Don’t think you will look like me or any other couple. You are your own person, your husband is his own person and together you are your own couple. You are unique and that is OK”.

Throughout my married life, as short as it has been, I have learned and battled with not comparing myself to other couples. There are ALL sorts of “couples” out there.

The serious
The giddy
The romantic
The affectionate
The lovable
The crazy
The weird
The loud
The quiet
The touchy feely
The not so touchy feely
The……. You name it!

What I am trying to say is that no one couple is alike and no matter how hard you try you will never be exactly alike. We can learn and gleam from one another’s wisdom and experience but we should learn what it looks like for us to be a couple that brings the Lord the most glory.

Sometimes I feel like couples will look at other couples and think “Wow – They never show affection in public, they must not love each other as much as I love my husband/wife” or “Wow – My husband takes me on a date night every week and her's does not, they must not love each other like we do” maybe “Wow – they are so giddy all the time, eventually it is going to wear off and they will realize they don’t have anything serious in common like we do”. Basically the list could go on and on…

I would like to say for the record:

1.) I love my husband with every fiber of my being. I would do ANYTHING for him, I love him more and more everyday and will until the day I die. I am hopelessly in love with him and I am a hopeless romantic.

2.) Just because I am not like you does not mean you are more happy or more in love. That is just a lie.

So – For those of you who feel the way I do, don’t let other people tell you, whether with words or actions, that you have to be like them to be happy. Yes, learn from others and soak in the wisdom of those who have gone before you; but don’t think you have to live a life of comparing yourself to others.

And if you are not married you can still think about this. Look at other couples, find out what you like and don't like and learn from it.


Leslie Shepherd said...

You're getting all inspirational and "deep" this week! :D I'm loving it!
I struggle with sort of along the same lines. I wonder if every couple does. I struggle with being looked down on for the couple we are sometimes. I have NO desire to be any other couple though. I just tell them to get over it and let us be us! :D HEE HEE! :)
(You could do your famous, "Put your lip over your head and swallow," line! BAH!!!! :D
You know Lauren, I think you and Britt are a BEAUTIFUL couple! Don't let anyone give the impression otherwise and don't let the devil steal away you love! :D :D
We need to do another girly day again sometime!!! I miss everyone. When you see Amy send her a hug from me.

brittandlauren said...

Thanks Leslie! And yes, I have been deep. I have had a lot going on in this head of mine recently. And thanks! :)

We do need to get together again! It would be fun!

Jaimie Krycho said...

Did someone give you crap about this? Because that is just not cool.

Leslie, I wonder the same thing, and I'm inclined to say "yes!" I have to remind myself that we, as unique people, marry other unique people, and that makes us all, well, unique! :p

Seriously, though, I relate. I'm guilty! Comparison is a vicious cycle, whether its comparison of a spouse to another person, or of both of you to another couple!

You and Britt will do things for God that Chris and I will never do, that ___ and ___ will never do...etc. That's so cool. Thanks for writing this; it's important to think about!